First things first: a little promotion, but don't you dare skip it!
I know I've talked about these guys to you before, but their EP is coming out in two weeks, which means that I'm super stoked, which means that you get to hear about them yet again.
They call themselves
And the truth of the matter is, they are not only fantastic musicians, they're fantastic people as well, so I wanted to give them a shout-out.
Here's a taste of their music, if you've forgotten:
This one is called Two-Toned. (I was totally there for this)
If you think that sounds awesome, which it does, here's some places you can find them:
And I do hope you go find them, and I hope you follow their Twitter and blog and like their Facebook page, because you'd be doing me a huge favor. And them, of course.
But now, on with the show!
I'll keep it short today. I only wanted to talk to you all about body image.
You guys know how I am. You've stuck with me through a lot, through times like this when I lay my insecurities out on the table for you and times like this when I do a *big reveal* about myself that's actually not so surprising. Then there's times like last week when I try to give you something, whether it be a new perspective or just a simple "cheer up, Charlie". Then of course, there's fodder and fluff in between.
I'm open when it comes to me. If you asked me a question (which you NEVER do... You never talk to me at all, you little stinkers), I would answer it as honestly as I could. As long as it's only me and my life you're asking about, I feel no need to hold back. I want you to know that I'm a real human being with real problems, the same as you.
I don't know why people pretend that they are perfect or that their life is bliss. Humans are flawed and imperfect, it's a fact of nature. We fail exponentially at perfection. Still, we crave it. You can see that craving in the way we live and the things we surround ourselves with.
Why do women wear makeup? We wear it to hide or lessen flaws, to accentuate some things so that they overshadow others. As The Postal Service puts it, "everything looks perfect from far away". We literally draw, paint, and dab on a layer between us and the world. That keeps us, the real us, a little bit further away from everyone else. It keeps us safe. At this point it has become a norm, and you'll be stepping outside those boundaries if you don't wear it. Stepping outside of the boundaries is unsafe, it leaves room for the unknown to come and hurt us.
I don't know what you think when you see those women, the ones stepping outside of the bounds. I see beautiful people that don't feel it necessary to compete on that level with the world. It simply isn't important to them. I see warriors who fight their instincts every morning to "make themselves presentable".
Maybe that's what you think. "She must've woken up late. She must've been too lazy to do her hair this morning." You make up excuses for her. Why else would she be walking around uncovered, undone? Must be a mistake, a fault.
Why does anybody need to make themselves presentable? Yes I understand the need for basic hygiene. That's a matter of health. That's different from what I'm talking about.
I'm talking makeup, hair, clothes, jewelry. The things that we cover ourselves with each and every day. Why? Who gets to create the image that we all model ourselves after? Why are we letting others determine what is "right" and "acceptable" for us?
Why are we hiding?
I saw a picture today. It was a fashion photograph like any other. There was a thin, porcelain-skinned girl in perfect focus. That's it. Just her face, her big blue eyes rimmed in mascara that someone else put on her, brown hair pulled up and out of reach by a stylist. I saw it and it's just one of thousands of images that I'm inundated with every day. Perfection, they're telling me. This is what you should look like.
For some reason, it got me thinking. I know my knee-jerk reaction to those photographs. Why else do I surround myself with them? I want to be her. I know that she is beautiful and I want to look just like her. I don't know if that's been trained into me, to see an image and want to embody it, but I'm always left aching, because I will never be that girl.
Well, I'm training myself out of it. My first reaction is still to crave, to compare. I'm trying to teach myself that I don't want to be that girl in the photograph. I'm slapping my hand away. Why?
I'm tired of letting someone else set the standards to which I measure myself.
Aren't you? Aren't you tired of feeling inadequate?
We can't change the world. I'm sorry if other people have told you differently. You can't get everyone else to stop giving you a look when you let your hair be loud and proud instead of ironing it out or spraying it down or at least putting it back, for Pete's sake woman that's a mane. Dude, you need a haircut, you've got an afro.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Keep that fro. Lose the mascara. Stop letting some team of people in an office somewhere tell you that your legs need to be skinnier, your skin needs to be smoother, you need to be younger. They laugh at the people who do what they want with themselves. "Of course, you can step outside the lines, but you'll be a social pariah and that will make you feel badly about yourself. You'll run back to us, to the norm. Just wait."
Let's leave them waiting. Look at those pictures they wave around and realize that they've been crafted. That's not reality.
Crave reality. Take away your layers and show the world that you are real. Perfection isn't your goal; happiness is. Join a nudist community, if that's what you want. Lose the highlights and concentrate on getting your hair healthy again.
Actually, don't let me tell you what to do. Make your own happiness. The greatest human peace comes from joy that relies on the inner instead of the outer. Stop the comparisons, stop hiding yourself because it's what people do. No, what people do is laugh and have the lines on their face to show it. They fall down and get scars on their knees. They have crooked teeth and pores and they get into fights. Life isn't perfect. We aren't perfect. Stop trying to fix yourself, to erase your mistakes from your life. They are as much a part of you as the happy times. They have created you. Magical, beautiful, wonderful you.
If you don't like who you are, don't force yourself to become something because you think it's what people are. If anything, force yourself to accept your faults and your strengths. If it's an unhealthy habit, drop it. If it's a quirky habit, cherish it.
Don't be afraid to step out of the boundaries. Don't be afraid to show yourself for your flaws as well as your gifts. Start a movement. Quit buying into another's idea of beauty. Start asking for reality, not perfection.
Do not let another person define you or your happiness.
Be happy, be healthy, be magical, be honest with yourself and others. Amazing things can and will happen. I believe that.
But now, on with the show!
I'll keep it short today. I only wanted to talk to you all about body image.
You guys know how I am. You've stuck with me through a lot, through times like this when I lay my insecurities out on the table for you and times like this when I do a *big reveal* about myself that's actually not so surprising. Then there's times like last week when I try to give you something, whether it be a new perspective or just a simple "cheer up, Charlie". Then of course, there's fodder and fluff in between.
I'm open when it comes to me. If you asked me a question (which you NEVER do... You never talk to me at all, you little stinkers), I would answer it as honestly as I could. As long as it's only me and my life you're asking about, I feel no need to hold back. I want you to know that I'm a real human being with real problems, the same as you.
I don't know why people pretend that they are perfect or that their life is bliss. Humans are flawed and imperfect, it's a fact of nature. We fail exponentially at perfection. Still, we crave it. You can see that craving in the way we live and the things we surround ourselves with.
Why do women wear makeup? We wear it to hide or lessen flaws, to accentuate some things so that they overshadow others. As The Postal Service puts it, "everything looks perfect from far away". We literally draw, paint, and dab on a layer between us and the world. That keeps us, the real us, a little bit further away from everyone else. It keeps us safe. At this point it has become a norm, and you'll be stepping outside those boundaries if you don't wear it. Stepping outside of the boundaries is unsafe, it leaves room for the unknown to come and hurt us.
I don't know what you think when you see those women, the ones stepping outside of the bounds. I see beautiful people that don't feel it necessary to compete on that level with the world. It simply isn't important to them. I see warriors who fight their instincts every morning to "make themselves presentable".
Maybe that's what you think. "She must've woken up late. She must've been too lazy to do her hair this morning." You make up excuses for her. Why else would she be walking around uncovered, undone? Must be a mistake, a fault.
Why does anybody need to make themselves presentable? Yes I understand the need for basic hygiene. That's a matter of health. That's different from what I'm talking about.
I'm talking makeup, hair, clothes, jewelry. The things that we cover ourselves with each and every day. Why? Who gets to create the image that we all model ourselves after? Why are we letting others determine what is "right" and "acceptable" for us?
Why are we hiding?
I saw a picture today. It was a fashion photograph like any other. There was a thin, porcelain-skinned girl in perfect focus. That's it. Just her face, her big blue eyes rimmed in mascara that someone else put on her, brown hair pulled up and out of reach by a stylist. I saw it and it's just one of thousands of images that I'm inundated with every day. Perfection, they're telling me. This is what you should look like.
Well, I'm training myself out of it. My first reaction is still to crave, to compare. I'm trying to teach myself that I don't want to be that girl in the photograph. I'm slapping my hand away. Why?
I'm tired of letting someone else set the standards to which I measure myself.
Aren't you? Aren't you tired of feeling inadequate?
We can't change the world. I'm sorry if other people have told you differently. You can't get everyone else to stop giving you a look when you let your hair be loud and proud instead of ironing it out or spraying it down or at least putting it back, for Pete's sake woman that's a mane. Dude, you need a haircut, you've got an afro.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Keep that fro. Lose the mascara. Stop letting some team of people in an office somewhere tell you that your legs need to be skinnier, your skin needs to be smoother, you need to be younger. They laugh at the people who do what they want with themselves. "Of course, you can step outside the lines, but you'll be a social pariah and that will make you feel badly about yourself. You'll run back to us, to the norm. Just wait."
Let's leave them waiting. Look at those pictures they wave around and realize that they've been crafted. That's not reality.
Crave reality. Take away your layers and show the world that you are real. Perfection isn't your goal; happiness is. Join a nudist community, if that's what you want. Lose the highlights and concentrate on getting your hair healthy again.
Actually, don't let me tell you what to do. Make your own happiness. The greatest human peace comes from joy that relies on the inner instead of the outer. Stop the comparisons, stop hiding yourself because it's what people do. No, what people do is laugh and have the lines on their face to show it. They fall down and get scars on their knees. They have crooked teeth and pores and they get into fights. Life isn't perfect. We aren't perfect. Stop trying to fix yourself, to erase your mistakes from your life. They are as much a part of you as the happy times. They have created you. Magical, beautiful, wonderful you.
If you don't like who you are, don't force yourself to become something because you think it's what people are. If anything, force yourself to accept your faults and your strengths. If it's an unhealthy habit, drop it. If it's a quirky habit, cherish it.
Don't be afraid to step out of the boundaries. Don't be afraid to show yourself for your flaws as well as your gifts. Start a movement. Quit buying into another's idea of beauty. Start asking for reality, not perfection.
Do not let another person define you or your happiness.
Be happy, be healthy, be magical, be honest with yourself and others. Amazing things can and will happen. I believe that.
Last week, my boss came into the office complaining that he ran out of black socks and he had to wear white ones. He said he was going to go immediately to the store and buy black socks because he couldn't bear the humiliation of people seeing his white socks when he walks.
ReplyDeleteAll I was thinking was: WHO THE F CARES WHAT SOCKS YOU WEAR!
Wear whatever the hell socks make you comfortable. Sheesh. And that goes for everything.
Another great post. It actually touched on a post I'm working on, so don't mind if you see similarities.
Oh, and I prefer less makeup, btw.
I love all of this. And it's actually something I've tried to do lately, too. In high school, I wore the whole makeup works, but now I put a swipe of mascara on my top lashes, use a quick concealer, brush my hair, and just leave the house. And personally, I think I look prettier in current pictures than I did in high school so more people should embrace what they have and not try to cover it up.
ReplyDeleteWhich is also a reason why I've never bothered to get contacts. Everyone always asks why I don't, and I don't see why it should matter. It takes me two seconds to take my glasses on and off before I go to sleep. And I don't need to worry about them drying out during the day. Why should I need to go through the hassle of contacts if there's no reason for me to do it, other than "everyone has them"?
Excellent post, as usual, love! :D