High time I posted again. Here I am!
It's the beginning of Spring Break, and I've had a lovely, fun-filled day. I woke up at 6:09am because my roommate was snoring. I squeaked the door of our mini-fridge, which always stops her snoring, then went back to bed and woke up again at 9, when somebody loudly knocked on the door. I gave up on sleeping after that and took a shower instead, starting my intensely mellow Saturday.
For breakfast? Seven Chips Ahoy! cookies (White Fudge Chunky Chips Ahoy, to be exact). Then I sat down and have hardly gotten up since. I've been watching Tron, cruising Facebook, writing things, eating cookies and Redvines, basically having the greatest Saturday of my life. The only great part is that I have yet to interact with another human being today, but I'm sure that will happen before the day is through.
It's about to rain. I can tell because of the smell that's leaking in through my open window: fresh, damp, and clean. Rain. If somebody could bottle the smell of the air before rain, I would wear it as a perfume. That is not a lie.
(cont'd...)
I was talking to a friend today, briefly, about how I've been feeling lately, as if my future is one vast, empty space. Looking up ahead to see nothing but emptiness, like being out on the open ocean, is terrifying. There is no land anywhere. Even the seagulls have left, so it's just me, my tiny ship, and the two shades of blue that meet at the horizon.
I suppose I'm not qualified to use that simile/metaphor. Can't say I've ever been on the open ocean. I went across Saint George's Channel once... Does that count? Doesn't matter. The fact of that matter is that I feel like I'm in a cushion of deep space and there's light-years between me and the next star or planet or bit of space rock with tiny aliens dancing around on it.
Then I think, "but this is life, isn't it? You aren't going to know what will happen after every step you take."
And, for once, I think I'm right. Not having any idea where I'm going next is about as scary as careening through space or across the sea. I know it'd be a stupid idea to stop now or try to go backwards, but going forward? Yikes.
But at least I know that I'm headed somewhere. Maybe I haven't got a red 'X' on my map and a dotted line leading straight to it, but I have gotten myself set upon a path that leads in a general direction and will eventually get narrower and branch off, and that's life right there. It's a constantly changing ocean, yet beneath the roiling there is a great steadiness.
Goodness gracious I'm getting lost in my metaphors.
:)
That's alright. I can go on adventures without having to take a step. I can see things that nobody else does. I might seem scatterbrained and childish and flighty, like, like, I dunno something flighty. A deer. A bird. A butterfly. A bar of soap in the bathtub. I might be that ridiculous, aggravating bar of soap, slithering away when you really are trying to get something substantial out of me, but I am slithering off to have adventures and get lost in metaphors and be scatterbrained. I am swimming away to be me. Try a loofah if you want to be cleaned, but if you want to bang your toes and slip and slide and have a rollicking good time, try me, your friendly bar of soap.
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