It's Friday and I haven't the foggiest about what I'm going to do with myself today. I think that I'll probably take a nap, because sleeping is the best thing to do when you don't know what to do.
My bellybutton area is red and tender. I thought you'd like to know. It got a nice slathering of warm wax last night and then half of it was mercilessly ripped off of my body. The other half stubbornly resisted, and I had to scrub myself raw to free myself of its ornery grasp. Don't ask me why women voluntarily wax their body hair off.
Well, I'm in a strange spot, right between "sick and tired of everything" and "wait did I just wake up from a dream?". Unpleasant. I'm more than ready for the school part of the semester to be over. No more College Comp homework or Bio Concepts tests to forget about (oops), and at least for a few weeks I won't have to have my giant, rectangular, 8 & 1/2 pound baby named Gardner's Art Through the Ages: A Global History accompany me to Art History class every Tuesday and Thursday.
But college is a funny thing. You meet people and you become friends with them, and the friendships are very different from friendships you've had before. At least, this is what has happened to me. I know that it's only been a semester, and that a semester is not a very long time. Still, it's kind of like meeting your soulmate. When it clicks, it clicks. Something about SVU has clicked, and I don't want it to change. I don't want to go without seeing my friends for a few days, let alone a few weeks, some of them even longer than that. What if we come back and everything has changed and we can't ever be as happy as we are now? What if it just falls apart?
That's a scary, scary thought. I suppose it comes with every change that we make. We lose some things and gain others, and we just need to trust that we'll be able to adapt and make good decisions and that the things we gain will make up for what we lose. It might not be fun when you see that huge, gigantic, enormous, Godzilla King-Kong of a Change standing in front of you, and it might not be fun when it tramples all over you and calls you names and puts you on top of tall buildings, but once it's all over, you might be able to look back and see that it was actually just a Japanese man inside of a lizard suit. And maybe that Japanese man is actually Mr. Miyagi and while you thought he was beating you up, he was actually teaching you how to fight and defend yourself.
And so next time you meet a Godzilla King-Kong of a Change, or even just a Minor Change, a Little Tweak To Your Daily Routine, you can either remember what your last change taught you, or you can forget and fight Godzilla all over again, and do it over and over and over again after that.
Maybe, eventually it won't even be a huge battle, but you'll greet your old friend in the Godzilla King-Kong of a Change suit, and kneel down Japanese-style before a low table, and have some tea and pleasant conversation. And then you'll go on your way and not be worried about the things that are different on the other side.
Ponder these words. I'm going to take a nap.
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