IT'S SO WARM OUTSIDE

Today is wonderful, guys.  Everything I had hoped it would be.  It's sunny and smiling and I'm really tired, but it doesn't matter because IT'S SO WARM OUTSIDE

This is the easiest way to show you how I feel today:

I don't make these GIFs, I'm just highly amused by them.

Little Baby Princess

I've had a lot of these moments since coming back to school:

You know you missed my GIFs.

But now that it comes to the point where I can put them in my blog, I've forgotten them all.

:\ Sorry.

I can tell you that I'm having an awesome time back at school, although it means classes and homework and things like that.  As much as I love my family, it's good to be out of the house.  

So, instead of telling you stories about my adventures, I'm going to talk to you about a movie I recently rewatched.

The Princess Diaries.

Boys, run now, because this is and always has been a movie for teen girls.  There is love and kissing and girl problems and cats and dresses.  All things for a rollicking good time at a chick movie night.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let us continue.

I love that movie.  If you're not my Facebook friend or managed to dodge my obnoxious Dr. Pepper high a few nights ago, then perhaps this is news to you.

Let me repeat that statement.  I.  Love.  This.  Movie.

I love Princess Diaries because I feel like Mia every day of my life.  Fifteen years old with all of the insecurities and awkwardness of that age.  In short, although I'm nearly twenty (now THAT'S weird to think about), I feel like a fifteen year old a lot of the time.

I have a lively face.  I make lots of strange facial expressions.  People often comment on the faces that I make.  I'm not particularly bothered by it, although I do feel like a fool at times.  Maybe if I acted normally, didn't say strange things or squeak when I laugh or have weird facial expressions, I wouldn't feel that way.  If I was normal, I wouldn't have half as much fun as I do.  

The number one thing I want right now is a princess makeover.  Ask anybody who's been forced to hang out with me during the past few days, and they will tell you that I want a princess makeover.

^ That is a princess makeover.  That's what I'm talking about.  I've been lucky to avoid the "bushman eyebrows" gene, as well as the frizzy hair, but I know that I could still use a good, old-fashioned princess makeover. What fifteen year old doesn't dream of going from Mia Thermopolis to Princess Amelia of Genovia?  We've all got things we wish we could have an expert change for us to make us a princess.

The good thing is that I'm no longer fifteen years old, and I know that I don't need a stylist to make me beautiful.  I'm a princess whenever I say I am.  Bite me.

One thing I wouldn't mind about princess training: dance lessons.

Also, posture and grace.  I need some serious work in those departments.

My walk is both of those at the same time.  And that scene with the Hermes scarf at the dinner table?  I desperately need that.

Most of all, little baby me inside of almost-twenty me wants this.

Something that little baby Mia Thermopolis, fifteen year old me feels is invisibility.  I really was invisible.  I hid in corners and wondered why nobody wanted to talk to me.  I cried at night because I thought that everyone hated me.  Good thing that almost-twenty me sees the part I played in my own demise.

I still feel invisible sometimes, but I know that it's my own doing.  I am fully in charge of how people perceive me.  Want to keep them away?  Put out the "go away" vibe, don't make eye contact, hide in a corner.  Keep moving when people start to approach.  It's pretty easy.  It's really easy for a fifteen year old who doesn't trust herself around other people.

Confidence is the most attractive attribute anyone can have.  Confidence straightens your back, makes you look taller, in charge.  Confidence doesn't let you hang back because you're afraid that you might say something weird or you look ugly today or you'll trip over your own feet while you walk.  Confidence doesn't care.  Confidence doesn't give a hoot.  Confidence tells you you're a princess, even if nobody believes it but you.  Confidence keeps you from over-thinking and ruining good things out of fear.

Basically, I guess what I would like to tell you girls is that you're all princesses.  Maybe you're like me, and you've still got a little baby Mia Thermopolis inside, with bushman eyebrows and a fear of public speaking so strong that it makes you ralph.  Maybe she's always nagging you, through every conversation and every movement.  Well, it's time to give her a princess makeover.  It's time to tie her to the chair with a Hermes scarf until she agrees to learn how to work with you.

Didn't mean to wax Motivational Coach on you.  Bottom line, go see Princess Diaries.  For the first half hour, have bonding moments with Mia Thermopolis like I did.  Say to the TV, "THAT IS TOTALLY MY LIFE."  Watch it to the end, through the part where she's laying in the rain in her car, feeling invisible.  Bond with her then, too.  Then put the movie away and go on with your life.  

Come talk to me.  I'll make weird expressions and squeak when I laugh, but I promise we'll both laugh often and maybe I'll even make popcorn for us.  We'll have a good time.

A rollicking good time.

Cloudy Playgrounds

Today was the first time in a long time that I had the chance to get to know myself.



That's a weird thing to say, you're probably thinking.
And I'd have to agree with you.  I think weird thoughts, as does everyone else.  You guys just don't share them as often as I do.

What I meant by that statement, though, is that I was alone for once, but not only alone, I was out of my room, walking and reading in the woods.  The sun shined it's happy face down on me, I enjoyed the words on the page and the warmth of the sunlight.  I was free of obligations for those few hours, and my thoughts were allowed to go anywhere that they wished.

I haven't had time to be alone with myself lately.  Sure, I'm alone pretty often, but I'm always doing other things: homework, sleeping, eating... stuff like that.  Y'know, the important things in life.  That's why this afternoon was so great, because it was just me, thinking my thoughts, being at peace with myself and my surroundings.  I felt like I had the strength of character to do anything that I wanted to.

Peace.


Finally.

But then, "oh yes–the world," as Annie Dillard would say (I was reading "The Writing Life" by her as I took my stroll today).

The world happens to me more often than I want it to.  I'm such a dreamer, my head constantly in the clouds, and when I come down it's not always the happiest experience.  It's not always a bad thing, either; usually, it's so abrupt that I don't have time to process it fully before I'm acting and reacting in the real world again.  Guess that's why I'm a little wonky and off-balance most of the time, because I'm always trying to climb around in the clouds, and the real world is always pulling me down by the ankle.

I'm not meaning to complain.  I really like my life right now, and I'm not just saying that.  I'm so happy so often that when I'm not, it's easy to tell.  Maybe I still have those moments when I'm thinking weird thoughts up in my cloudy playground, wondering if they're too weird to share, and then the conversation halts and I get pulled back down into reality.

Hey man, it's all good.  That spacey-ness is just a part of who I am.  You don't like it?  Tough cookies.

One of my adventuring songs.

Flashback.

I'm listening to an old Good Charlotte album, one that I loved when I was thirteen (The Young and the Hopeless, if you wanted to know) and remembering all of the songs that I used to listen to obsessively, indulging myself with a plate of nachos.  Simple Plan is next on the list.

I've gotta say, I've come a real long way from all the punk and rebellion.

This was the summer before 9th grade.  Yes I was a theater geek.  Get over it.

Far left is me.  I still have those socks.

Far left is me again.

lol guess which one is me.

Imagine that, I'm on the far left again.

HOLY CLOSE-UP.

LOLerskates.

the camera loves me.

Let's play a game.  It's called Find The Dain.  Now you click on this link and watch this treasure of a video, and I will give you a few hints.

1) The Dain is in the front row, on the right side.

2) The Dain is in view at least 3/4 of the time.  Maybe the cameraman had a crush on her or something.

3) The Dain hasn't gained much weight since 8th grade.  Look for the super skinny girl.

4) The Dain has orange-yellow flowers and leis.

http://www.mtlaurelschools.org/hmsperformingarts/Shows/spring06/kalaevid/enchanted_shores.html

Still don't believe my awesomeness as an eighth grader?  Well check out Hit-the-Deck Flora from Fancypants and the Swan, summer after eighth grade.

1) The Dain has a yellow bandana, red pants, and a blue shirt.

2) In the Yo-Ho dance, The Dain is the last person on the right.

3) In the Can Can, The Dain is Can-Caning next to the parrot.

Yo-Ho

http://www.mtlaurelschools.org/hmsperformingarts/Shows/summer06/Fancyvid/YoHo.html

Can Can

http://www.mtlaurelschools.org/hmsperformingarts/Shows/summer06/Fancyvid/CanCan.html

I hope  you believe me now.  It's right there: all the proof you could ever ask for.  I was awesome.

I don't know what happened since then, but at least we all know that I've kept the drama queen attitude.

:)

That was me.  Who were you in 8th grade?  Who are you now?  Are you where you want to be?